Aminatou Sow: Like a number of our collaborations, none from it is determined. The guide asks: exactly what does life look like once the social individuals during the center you will ever have are your pals? Which is a meta-conversation the 2 of us have now been having for a time that is long. We published this guide as a means of describing our very own relationship to one another, but in addition setting up a robust conversation around just what this means to actually select friends and family and now have them be vital elements of your everyday lives.
You discuss just how, at the beginning of your friendship, you created a “story of sameness,” and soon after, the need is discussed by you to upend that narrative. Is it possible to explore that?
Ann Friedman: the definition of “story of sameness” is one of the linguist Deborah Tannen. We didn’t also recognize, in the beginning in our relationship, the way we had produced this tale of all ways we had been comparable. A number of it absolutely was shallow: both of us prefer to consume dinner during the bar! Nonetheless it occurred extremely subtly, within the larger procedure for dropping in deep love with one another as buddies. We just noticed later on that a practice had been made by us of deciding to concentrate on these similarities. Our capacity to recognize and cope with our distinctions became extremely important in the future. […]